Anger management

My mother always told me 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing', which incidentally if you know my mother, is bloody hilarious! Nonetheless I found myself drawing on repressed childhood memories as I struggled with my own limited skills in dealing with my new living situation.
Most of the experts on the topic of step-parenting recommend leaving all the discipline to the birth parent, with the step parent taking a backseat so as not to further fertilise any resentment the child may already feel toward the invader. Now I ask, where's the satisfaction in taking a back seat? We can't take to them with doweling coat hangers and wooden spoons like the good ol' days (more repressed memories), so please let me yell and scream. Please let me make threats about smashed play stations and no pudding...for a year! Please let me jam his bedroom door closed with a thick sock...

And so I began to walk the thin line of appropriateness. Well, to tell the truth, I wobbled reluctantly along and vaguely wondered what the flaming heck I was going to do. What exactly IS appropriate disciplinary behaviour for a step parent when the child clearly needs to go to borstal? I know about the health dangers of withholding strong emotions. I know that I am supposed to set an adult example of how to manage difficult situations, and shit, I also know that this kid is going to be living with me for many years to come; I had better think fast as I drive to the wine shop.

I firmly believe that the only reason all children aren’t popped into return-to-sender courier bags before the age of 5 is because of those instinctual maternal and paternal feelings of love and guilt. Here arises the quandary of the (new) step parent. They feel nothing. They are like Vulcan’s, which to be honest I have always admired! Sound decision-makers, whose judgement is not clouded by myriad emotions and conflicting neurotransmitters vying for dominance. Vulcan’s are pragmatists of the highest order, taking the most straightforward route to resolve a problem. So, you see, for the step parent there just isn’t any tugging at the heart strings when the matter of discipline arises. Its clear-cut mate, black and white, straight up and down; boarding school!

Now this gives rise to two problems; firstly the cost. I mean for pity’s sake, the reason I am investigating boarding school in the first place is my ambivalence toward my stepson. I certainly am not predisposed to spending good cosmetic surgery money on what essentially amounts to expensive babysitting, albeit with a sound education thrown in. Secondly, his Dad would miss him. See, love and guilt. Great. An impasse.